Holding on Part III

Some more good advice that I have received during my holding on process is to get the bad stuff out of my system. Say what is going through my mind because God is not afraid to hear it.

Certainly David, who was known to be a man next to Gods heart, did not mince his words about how he felt. In many a Psalm he accuses God of abandoning him, of not hearing his cry and leaving him in the pit!

I used to do a little example about this when leading worship sometimes. The proverbial glass of water is full. It is full of all my pains, worries, anger and disappointments. Can I fill it up with Gods love and peace when it is already full? No I can't ..there is no room....not until I first empty it out and then refill it.

Likewise, I need to empty myself of my "ugliness" so that God has room to put in his peace, grace and love and most importantly....His hope. I have to make an active choice to do this....

I know that often in these situations one has not even the energy to pour out the stuff...but God in His grace and love helps to even do this.

It is the same with a festering wound. One has to make an effort to clean it out well.... purify it of puss and dirt so that it can begin with the healing process. I am right there folks. It needs a firm and yet gentle touch.

Holding on Part II

When I am experiencing difficulties I naturally ask myself if there is anything I could have done to have avoided them!!! Who doesn't? That is why it is so easy to find the fault with myself!

In my present state I find myself asking the Lord to give me something to hold onto. Something practical. Even without putting words to this prayer, Naomi who left a comment on the Tulips post encouraged me to hop over to another blog. This blog belongs to my pastor back in Guernsey, who even though I have lived many years away from the island and am no longer in his congregation, continues to be a source of encouragement and support to me across the miles! His friendship and example are a great influence in my life. Eric has suffered with physical pain for the last 10 years so he knows what he s talking about when it comes to suffering. He knows what he is talking about when it comes to holding on.

Click on this and you will find some very practical, clear counsel to walk through your pain or struggle just as I did yesterday.

Here is a little quote to wet your appetite:

The phrase 'a little while' is a poignant one for me. Years ago I felt that God spoke to me and promised that after I have suffered 'a little while' then He himself will step in and heal me (see 1 Peter 5:10). I am finding that God's idea of a little while and mine are very different. So I thought I might revisit a sermon that I preached on the subject of 'God's Little While' a little while ago!
Here is the outline of what I said: In John 16 Jesus used the phrase “a little while” 7 times. He was referring to the 3 days and nights He would be in the grave before the resurrection. In Ezekiel 11:16 the phrase means 70 years. So it appears that a little while in God’s economy may not be to with a quantity of time, but rather a quality. What are the Marks of God’s Little While? · A Time When God is at Work no Matter How Dark it Appears. This was true of the dark days when Jesus was in the tomb and the years that Israel was in exile. God was working out His purposes. When we submit to God’s timetable, He is at work.
· A Time When God is Looking After His People. In Ezekiel’s day God said He was being a “sanctuary for His people”, even tho’ their own sin had led them there.
· A Time that Ends Only When God Determines. It only ends when He says it is over, but we can be absolutely sure it will end. This will come to pass.

Now isn¨t that inspiring? It gave me hope and I encourage you hop on over there and read the whole thing.....

Holding on part I

I am holding on!!!! I am not kidding anyone that everything is "peachy keen", but I have been reminded during this storm, of several things. I thought that talking about them could be
helpful too.!!!! Maybe I will just get to one now...

I want to reiterate that it is always better to talk and get what is bothering us off our chest. There is a time for this...but whether it takes longer or sooner to get there...we must surely come to a place where we pour out our hearts to those near to us.

I was hurting so bad that I just could´t talk for fear of continual break down if you know what I mean. I had been crying all time and the thought of exposing my pain all over again felt like I was opening up the wound and the blood was gushing out. This was a serious state of affairs.


I thought that if I am tired of going over the same problems, my friends will be too.... they can´t help me anyway, so why bother? I just want out.... away ... a safe place alone. I didn´t want to talk about this pain any more, I had had enough and I was signing out, resigning from life....

I want a free ticket please to anywhere but here!

In cutting myself off I don´t allow those who love me to help or express their love. Yes, I know that they can´t always help change anything at that point, but they can love ON me and remind me that I am not alone.

A wounded dog will seek out a safe place to hide so that it can recover. In his pain it requires a special kind of someone to approach them as they will lash out. It´s similar with us, but the worst thing that can happen to you is to be left alone. Not only do you sink deeper into your misery, you end up dying. Seriously! You just give up. Humans need humans to survive whether we like it or not! It´s the only way out and up.(obviously God is a key player here too, but I was just exposing the human factor here!!)

I am glad I have a husband, kids, sisters, and dear friends that have pursued me, but who have also needed to know how to wait for me to come round. It´s important to know when to ask and when to simply hold still and just be by my side. It´s a hard balance and there are no 3 easy step formulas. It takes lots of love and patience, but it works!

When I opened up = it did help. It did ease the ache. I think we convince ourselves of the opposite so quickly. This is a clever strategy of the enemy whose only desire is to see God´s chosen destroyed. Yes see us dead physically, emotionally and spiritually. Any combination is fine!

Once you are alone and singled out, you are easy prey just like in the animal kingdom... That is the strategy the lion uses to pursue his prey. He seeks out the strays, the young and weak or the unprotected...those away from the herd.

It´s true that our friends and loved ones can give no easy answers, no quick deals, no one size fits all solutions.. but they can give support, understanding, comfort and company. There are little acts of kindness that can break the monotony of frustration and pain, and bring a spark of hope. That´s what the white tulips did for me. It´s crazy, but it´s true. And if God can do that for me...He will do it for you.

My friend Karen from Karen´s Korner has a quote on her blog that says, "Share the gospel and if necessary use words. " A truer word could not have be spoken. In these moments, often words are surplus. There are actions that can reach beyond the words.

I have learned again that I need to open up and reach out, especially when I am hurting. Let others love on me and care for me even if it doesn't actually change any of my circumstances or eradicate my pain. I need to know I am not alone.