In the storm

PRAISE YOU IN THE STORM.

By Mark Hall and Bernie Herms.

(I read this on Gail's blog and I just could Identify so much......)


I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

No running water.....

Praise the Lord, O my soul; and FORGET NOT ALL HIS BENEFITS.
Ps 103:2

This week was a reminder to me of this very verse!

Growing up in the western world, it´s easy to take for granted so many things because we have had them all our lives. Take running water for example. Even though the majority of the world does not having the luxury of running water and even less in the comfort of it in their own homes, having water at the ready 24-7 is something that we definitely take for granted.... that I take for granted.

This week we were without water for over 2 days and I had to become creative at showering and washing dishes by heating up water from our pool! I have the luxury of bottled water to cover my thirst so of course, considering the odds, my "suffering" is really not worth the mention. But for my standard of living, it was quite the headache and it required more time to accomplish tasks that normally are done without even thinking!

Isn´t it true that as soon as these comforts are removed, we quickly begin to appreciate what we have?? Just as the old saying goes... "You don´t know what you got until it´s gone!" rings loud and clear doesn´t it?

Naturally, I prayed and asked the Lord would give me water again. Do you know what happened next?

IT RAINED!

We desperately need rain, so naturally the sight of this desired product not only came as a surprize from those colder northern lands, but it WAS NOT the answer that I had expected to my prayer..... I´m like, "God, I don´t want water outside the house but INSIDE!" Maybe praying specifically would have been helpful here!!!!!

Actually I felt that God really spoke to me through this and I had the opportunity of sharing it with some dear friends of mine going through a period of transition.

God often surprizes us when he doesn´t answer our prayers to open specific doors in the way we imagine. You know, those "obvious" prayer needs we have: Lord heal my Mum, provide a job...etc....But often God opens a window instead!

These are the moments when our faith and trust really kick into action.

We stand there somewhat stunned at God´s response to our need and say, "Okay God, that isn´t quite what I had in mind.... cough & choke in disbelief , a few minutes go by to regain control, and then comes the classic question: "What did YOU do THAT for?

Admittedly when it started raining, and we continued without running water, I had to smirk at the irony of it all. I had all the water I wanted outside...but that WASN´T what I needed! Now try and tell me that God doesn´t have a sense of humour!!!!

I was reminded at that point, that so often we ask for things that we think we need, but God in his Love and Wisdom opens a window instead of a door. We usually don´t understand it at the moment BUT it´s always for our best...AND generally is accompanied with the later realization that God´s reply was the best thing for us although at the time it didnt make sense.

In the bible God often challenges the "logic" and "commonsense" of our fragile human nature. The first instance that comes to mind is when God has the Joshua and the people of Israel march around the walls of Jericho in silence and then the walls of this ever so fortified city would come crumbling down to the ground.

Can you begin to imagine Joshua, the military and spiritual leader of the community, explaining this tremendously logical and powerful strategy to attack their enemies and see the walls come tumbling down by silently marching around this city? I can just hear a, "yeah right!" coming from the crowd... I mean really, how illogical can one be? Oh and one mustn´t forget the logic of putting the musicians first... now there´s a arrowhead to lead the nation... a bunch of singers to prepare the way...no military training, no armour... just a few guitars and harps to help those 1 mile think walls come to their knees! (Being a musician... I can say that!!!)

How about the disciples during the storm.... What´s Jesus doing? Is He their calming their concerns, explaining the science of the power of the waves and their distance from the shore so they don´t worry, NO, no, no, Jesus was SLEEPING!

Apparently Jesus is totally oblivious to the goings on, which just totally goes against the grain, like nails going down the chalk board. Our logic cries out in disgust and God encounters it with a completely different dimension, where everything and every law obeys God and the impossible becomes THE POSSIBLE.

God´s sense of humour is seen again and again in the Bible of illogical moments such as when God lets the sun stop still, the Red Sea opens, a donkey talks, an elderly woman gets pregnant...oh man the list is endless.

This reality surrenders us to our knees and we have to acknowledge once again, that God truley is God and His Ways are not our ways and His Thoughts are not our thoughts.....and whatever He does is always WELL DONE!!

Flying Again

The desire to fly is an idea handed down to us by our ancestors who,
in their grueling travels across trackless lands in prehistoric times,
looked enviously on the birds soaring freely through space,
at full speed, above all obstacles, on the infinite highway of the air.
~Wilbur Wright

I couldn´t leave the topic of flight go with just one post.....It´s way to intricate and expanse to be covered with one strike! Needless to say that the explanation of "lift" and the "why" planes fly is complex beyond measure and somewhat outside of my realm of expertise:an area I would rather leave to the experts!

No, outside of my romantic notions of flying biplanes across the plains of Africa, planes are very much a part of my family life. My husband, who works for an airline, assures that the bellies of the aircraft are packed with all shapes and sizes of cargo that travels right underneath the passengers unbeknownst to them.

While the passengers are on their way to exotic destinations to fulfill the vacations of their dreams or on business travels to snatch the deals of their lives..cargo is being transported from here to there to provide the necessary staples of common life every day and we don´t even give it a thought. You would be amazed at "what" is being transported every day under your very nose...or feet or body...whatever and just how much work it takes to organize such transport down to the very last detail.

Outside of my husband´s profession, airplanes and airports represent something deeper.... and that is the possibility to be "incognito" just another "face" in the crowd. At the aiport, every person, passport and country is valid and it doesn´t matter who you are or where your from... if you have a ticket... you can fly! The airport provides a place of "sanctuary" for the person whose parents are from one culture, who grow up in another country and often then move again to another country..... commonly known as the "Third Cultured Kid." My husband is one, my kids are and well I am too to a certain degree one myself!

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. ~G.K. Chestert

So airports and planes provide for us a place to be "just like the rest." A place where we don´t stand out and a place where the issue of citizenship isn't the bottom line for establishing relationships!

What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do
- especially in other people's minds.
When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then.
People don't have your past to hold against you.
No yesterdays on the road.
~William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

So as you can see.... planes are an interesting & inseparable part of our build up....and maybe that´s why I love them so much!

Flying High!

More than anything else the sensation is one of perfect peace
mingled with an excitement that strains every nerve to the utmost,
if you can conceive of such a combination.
~Wilbur Wright

I have always had a fascination for flying, I think it is almost impossible not to! The Law of Gravity being constantly defied distinctly attracts one´s attention and demands the question be voiced, "how?"

A good friend of mine,who studied aerodynamics, once told me that the first year of study is spent giving reasons why it is impossible to fly!

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly,
but the bumblebee doesn't know that
so it goes on flying anyway. ~Mary Kay Ash

There´s a lesson there somewhere!!

My love of planes and flying came of course from my father who was an avid lover of flight, and probably began when he used to take us to see the model airplanes that flew on Lancress Common on Sunday mornings.

I fly because it releases my mind
from the tyranny of petty things.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

My Dad also build his very own model biplane with engine, that sadly did not defy the law of gravity as was hoped. I must of been about 6yrs at the time and I can´t remember exactly how long it took him to build it... but being the perfectionist that he was, I imagine a good year would have done it.

Yes, there are planes and planes. My Dad loved the vintage ones, especially biplanes and his most beloved was the red baron with triple wings.... One thing that singled my Dad out from the rest was that he was not satisfied with the simple or straight forward in life, everything had to "earn" his respect and trust! The Red Baron was clearly a true example of this!

I have to agree with Dad when it comes to choice in aircraft. One could liken the super jets, the airbus 380 of today to ... fast food: in and out... from A to B in the shortest amount of time possible, convenience above all. (Which of course is the only way to go if you´re flying to visit friends or family...no slow enjoyment there!!! ) Whereas the vintage aircraft would compare to an exquisit 3 course meal in the Ritz: meant to be enjoyed with time and leisure, where every detail counts and where every sensation is to be experienced to the full.

When once you have tasted flight,
you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been,
and there you will always long to return.
~Author Unknown

The movie "Out of Africa" , has many beautiful and outstanding landscape scenes (as well as a tragic love story) as being the winner of several oscars confirms. One of the most awesome of these being Denys and Baroness Blixen´s flight in biplane over the African Savannah.

I am always moved by this scene and find the excitement almost tangible as they glide over the plains, close enough to reach out and touch the wildlife....breath taking. I hope one day to do this myself and reach my hand back and clasp the hand of my fellow passenger mid flight, wear those incredibly attractive goggles(???!!!) and have my hair blowing in the breeze. This is flying at it´s best!

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society.
The optimist invents the airplane
and the pessimist the parachute.
~Gil Stern

Yes, flight captures that appealing element which each human being desires and longs for: the ability to fly above the worries and woes of this life and soar in the the sky of freedom. To be able to defy the gravity of "life."

I guess flight is the closest comparison we have to that spiritual dimension where we are able to soar on wings like eagles.... above the pain and the questions..where the wings of God´s presence and comfort lead us above these struggles and enable us to see the world from His perspective just as if we were flying in that biplane over the African Savannah holding His hand.......

I miss you DAD

The other day I was walking around Alcalá with our visitors and noticed this old fashioned reel to reel recorder in a shop window and I thought of you Dad. I wished you could have seen it. I remember you recording your Dad playing piano in our front room with this high tech machinery way back then and couldn´t help but cherish the moment in my mind. I miss you Dad.

I remember so many nights trying to fall asleep to you playing scales on the saxophone. You used to sit facing into the corner because you said the acoustics were better that way! I miss you Dad!

I regret never being able to experience you "live" on stage playing for many every night because it was what really bought you pleasure. I especially miss not seeing you play the double bass, which still to this day holds some magical mystery for me. We still have it in the attic Dad. I miss you Dad.

Listening to music was one of your greatest passions and the tunes are still very much alive in me. I cannot listen to them without seeing you in your favourite arm chair, record player open and turning, the box of records open ready for the next favourite tune to be played and your words were, "Listen to him play!" You savoured and treasured each note and taught me how to appreciate music. I will always be grateful to you for that Dad. I miss you Dad.

I can still see us sharing those hours by the organ where I sang every tune we knew, covering such a wide range of styles... Your favorites were Bossa Novas and I can still see that button in the drum section on the right hand side of the organ ..boy were we hip eh Dad?!! Old sheets of music connect me back to those days when you were here. I miss you Dad!

I find solace in the wonderous joy that we shall be together again and before the throne enjoy the music that rings throughout heaven..... "WE ARE TOGETHER AGAIN."

Family reunites!

Yes today was the big day... the arrival of my two boys after 19 days away! I am very excited to have them home , but I have to admit that part of me still wants to live "boylessness" a little while longer!!! Here are a few selected pics froNo 1 and No 2 during their 19 days away!!! No 2i is in the second row from the front, right hand side, behind the girl with glasses! This is taken in the football stadium in Berlin for a big event called "Calling all Nations" that took place July 14th. Sadly for some reason, these two pics of No 1 aren´t as clear and big as I would like! The top one is in Berlin and the bottom is him playing lead E-guitar in the 10 day band he formed in La Industria - ! I was very proud of him when we saw him up in Santander 2 weekends ago for the final day of the KK bootcamp/La Industria E-Guitar course CONCERT.

No 2 also was one of the main attractions of the evening, delighting all percussion fans with his drumstick expertise and roars of his name echoing from the crowd! I can only say that my chest was definitely swelling !! Is this kind of pride a sin? Not only were they tops musician wise, I heard

endless comments as to their positive influence in the team and leadership qualities. "They were a pleasure to have with us!"

I can only say that my heart is always warmed when I hear positive comments about our offspring and it encourages me during those moments when I am maybe not "seeing the good" as much as I should. Which reminds me of a book a real dear friend loaned to me with the boys were very small, which had a chapter called, "Slow bake cookies."

A small smirk covers my face even as I write this, because I remember the anguish I felt at wanting them to be "perfect gentlemen" from day one. Somehow, I expected that training a child they way he should go, wouldn´t take years! That certain issues would be resolved early on, leaving other stuff for later.

But as the title of the chapter says, our kids are slow bake cookies and that requires years of investment, tears and joys before they reach maturity. Hey, I just have to look at myself and realize some of the things that I have been learning NOW and I am, well, how old?

So hearing these beautiful descriptions of my two boys makes me remember the years of investment that only now seems to be yielding it´s harvest because of God´s grace and intervention.

I used to believe that I had more of a hand in this, and I´m not knocking our responsibility and need to teach our children, but as time progresses, it only proves to me that it´s by God´s grace I stand and that they stand and will stand.

Thank you God for allowing me to see you in my Boys!

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew

You are not alone

I think one of the greatest comforts Jesus left us with is the fact the we are not alone, that He will be with us until the end.....

The great omission in life is solitude; not loneliness, for this is an alienation that thrives most in the midst of crowds, but that zone of time and space, free from the outside pressures, which is the incubator of the spirit. ~Marya Mannes

Yes, there is a difference between solitude and loneliness, and it is God´s presence that makes the difference.

I can be alone, without human companionship.... and it is often necessary to seek out solace to maintain one´s health in balance, but I am never outside of God´s presence.

Psalm 139: 7....

Where can I go from your spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me fast.
-- Psalm 139:7-10 (NRSV)

The Black Hole

Black Hole: Loosely speaking, a black hole is a region of space that has so much mass concentrated in it that there is no way for a nearby object to escape its gravitational pull.

This is the 3rd time I try and sit down to write about my own personal black hole, only to have it lost in the black hole of cyberspace!!!..... so here we go again!

Last week I was confronted again with my inner black hole.

Yes, I don´t know if we all have one... but I know I do.... It´s like seeing yourself face to face in the mirror.... those parts of you that rear their ugly head once in a while, areas in your life you would rather wish away, your gross weaknesses stand blatant before you and you feel yourself being pulled, without escape, into that black hole in your soul, where if were not for the GRACE of GOD would we disappear forever without trace. Yes, I am talking about those"thorns" in our flesh that we beg God to remove, but He graciously denies, rather promises to draw us through whatever our "thorn" may be into a place of victory.

As I was faced with my black hole or "thorn", I wanted so desperately to hide it from myself and others... somehow protect my "fate", "my pride", my innermost "shame" at my gross short comings, utter inadequacy and what most deeply hurts: my failure.

When we have a splinter, or thorn in this case, in our flesh, it so desperately hurts when it is touched or knocked, other than that, you can continue living "inspite of" it´s apparent existence. My thorn had been knocked and I was re-confronted (is that a word?) with the nearness of my black hole. It hurt and I wanted so desperately to run..... But where can your run from yourself?


I felt myself being pulled by the minute, seemingly without escape, into my black hole and all I could do was to cry in my pain to God..... Only then did I realize that my black hole has power when I believe that there is no hope. No hope, that I can change, that the situation can change or that God can do the impossible. Or maybe that God indeed might not take away my struggles, giving me instead the grace to walk through my dis mull failures....

I guess this entry goes to all those people who see me as the eternal optimist, that are innocently unaware of the deep waters that often stir my soul and overwhelm me with feelings of utter inadequacy beyond measure. To all of you.... I can only say my level optimism is matched with an equal depth of pessimism. Somehow in all of that, God manages to still love me and I am not lost into my black hole, never to return.

I watched a movie last week that kind of echoed a feeling I felt at that very moment: "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found: WANTING." Man, how often do I hear these words echo in my soul.... you have been found WANTING... and boy does it make you want run into the black hole and not even wait for it to pull you in!!!!

2Cor 12:7
And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

So why didn´t I fall into my black hole? Because God showed my that inspite of myself, He is still God.... inspite of my failings, God is able to work and do miracles....I mustn't trust in myself.... Only in God.

God free me of my pride!