Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Here I am with my oldest son , almost 16yrs, at the onset of the famous "changing of roles" that takes place between parents and children when a certain age is reached.....


As I looked at this foto, I thought how great it was that we had captured this moment on camera.

I appear to be somewhat less interested than I should be at No 1´ss intent to explain the intricacies of digital video cameras, don´t I? I don´t think I was as disinterested as I appeared, but this image has crystallized the end of an era.

The era when us Mum´s and Dad´s are no longer "all knowing" in our children´s eyes. It´s when we begin to ask the questions and they give the answers..... especially when it concerns modern cons like computers, digital cameras, gidjets and gadgets, and last but definitely not least: the latest generation of mobile phones!

I remember the feeling I had when this phenomenon happened to me. My chest burst with pride as I explained to my parents something they didn´t know and I couldn´t help but savour the feeling that somehow I was on par with them... at least on one level!

You have reached the moment when your opinon is valued in your parents eyes as that of a peer and no longer that of a child. If the parents respond well to this "reverse of roles", it can be a tremendous boost to the self esteem of any child, as my personal experience has shown me.

So, sitting on this couch with my son explaining the newest digital technology, I knew that he needed me to fill up the hot air balloon of his self esteem and let it soar high! I trust I did just that even though the picture appears to give credit to the opposite!

Sadly, not all areas of growing up and maturing are as straight forward as being knowledgeable in the technical department! As we look back at our teenage years, I have yet to meet anyone who would want to relive the hormonal, roller coaster ride of their puberty years!

Do you remember the first time you fell in love? (I can see that sparkle in your eyes!!!!) Do you remember first time your heart was broken? (how quickly that sparkle went!!!)How about the frustration of "what will they think?" and "what will they say if....." And the fear to top all fears .... not to stand out for whatever reason!

If we compare our "experience" of yesteryear with now, we realize that we wasted alot of energy suffering and agonizing over things that wouldn't even take a wink of sleep away now. How we wish we could have calmed our fears back then with the knowledge we have today.

The hard thing is when you are going through the trial, those classic pep talks and black and white one size fits all solutions, don´t seem to hit the spot do they. Like when your heart is broken, and with all the well meaning, heartfelt desire to help in the world they say, "Don't worry, there are plenty more fish in the sea!!" And you say..... "I don´t care about the other fish..... I wanted THAT fish!"

The reality is, that you are not really looking for an answer or a solution. You just want to have your feelings validated and then a hug that says.... I know how hard it must be. With that, you feel that maybe, just maybe this present pain will with time fade and maybe just maybe, there might be someone more wonderful than wonderful waiting around the next bend.

God knows about that kind of pain and our need to hear that voice of reassurance. I remember one of those moments and this was the verse God gave me which soothed my heart ache and comforted my soul.

John 13:7

You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

I remember how it felt to the ache that was in my heart....It wasn´t a made to fit solution, not you will get over type of answer, but it gave me the assurance that God knew what I felt right now. I didn´t need to have the details... just know, that someday all this hurt, confusion and even pain that I was feeling, later He would let me understand.

It´s hard to see children, family and friends suffer, but they don´t always needs answers or solutions...just to know that we understand their present pain, that it is real and valid. This is the greatest offering of friendship one can give.