Don´t we all just love to do that?? We would all WANT to be able to do it better than we do, but often (in my case at least!!!) with great intent we leave our struggles, pain, etc... at the cross and when know one´s looking we sneak it back!!!!
When I was falling in love with my now husband of 20 years (we celebrate the 20 years on Sept 19th!!) I was seeking the Lord as to if he was the right one for me, God challenged me to live with open hands.... To entrust this question into God´s hands and leave mine open to let Him do whatever he wanted in my life. This prayer developed into a song and here are the lyrics:
Now, 20 years down the road, I find myself once again challenged by God to have open hands. This time, it is with regards to my children. Just the other day as we were driving to church, this song just popped back into my head out of the blue. I haven't thought about it for about 20 years..... but God hadn't lost sight of it and here He was reminding me of it!!!
I, unlike most of my blog friends, am entering a new level of motherhood, as many have done before me, the level of letting go.
Having younger kids often proves to be very physically taxing, and yes they are hard work, but you have the upper hand on "controlling" their environment and the results of their misconduct do not seem to have such serious ramifications outside of a "time out" or asking forgiveness for snatching the other siblings/friends toy.
But as the teenage years are reached, one begins to deal with issues such as flunking in school, (which inevitably messes up in the work scene later on), or temptation with drugs ..the list is endless...
The seriousness of the domino effect of their mistakes at this stage is much weightier and the borders or your worrying extend as far as the eye can see. The challenge of "letting go" or living with "open hands" takes on a whole new perspective and challenge for me right now.
It seems that long gone are those days where you would enjoy Postman Pat and Legos, and the tremendous satisfaction of being able to solve their problems easily. When only Mum could make things better with a plaster on their "booboos" and untangle the knots in their running shoes.
It isn´t so easy now to fix their broken hearts from the rejection of their first love, being deceived by their best friend or their struggles with self esteem. No it´s a whole new ball game, when you just thought you had this parent thing down!!!! The rules have changed and so has the strategy.....
But you know what???? The only thing that hasn´t changed in this ratio is that God is sill the same and His love for my kids/ our kids is greater than ours!!!
Yes believe it or not, and for any mother this is very hard to conceive, God does love your kids more than you and He is ultimately concerned for their welfare and future.
This summer has just been a reminder to me that God is on my side.....I don´t have to be like Sarah and find a Hagar to solve my problems... God is there. His timing and plan might differ from mine, but He is at work.... and I can rest with my children in open hands.